053 | Self-Compassion: An Antidote to Shame
Shame is perhaps one of the most destructive emotions. It doesn’t only lead to anger, fear, perfectionism, and depression; it also invites self-loathing, self-harm, and self-sabotage. It is the reason there’s a Trauma Hiders Club—in fear of being found out, made fun of, and ultimately exiled, shame makes us hide and disconnect.
I recently dug deep into the literature on shame as it relates to the individual and the collective to search for an antidote. In my search, I found many different and conflicting theories, some of which I agree with, and most of which I disagree with. Part of that group of proponents I disagree with is—you might want to sit down for this—Brené Brown.
In this episode of the Trauma Hiders Club, I discuss why I disagree with Brené Brown and her prescription for curing shame. I share a summer memory from my childhood and describe what shame does to a person. I outline different proposed antidotes to shame, such as pride, humility, and self-esteem, and explain why they may not be effective. I also underscore the power of compassion and highlight why self-compassion is the answer to healing shame.
“Compassion has a powerful companion called self-compassion, and self-compassion is the power of being kind to yourself when experiencing suffering—it’s the antidote to shame.”
- Karen Goldfinger Baker
This week on the Trauma Hiders Club Podcast:
● A summer memory from my childhood
● The birth and impact of shame
● Pride and other proposed approaches to healing shame
● Pushing back on Brené Brown
● What it means to be compassionate
● How self-compassion can help heal our pain and shame